Marriage Agreement Assessment, Part I

According to someone who wrote something for the Huffington Post, there are at least 35 things couples MUST discuss, and preferable agree on, before they get married. For giggles, and to keep something new and fresh on the blog, let's put it to the test.

Also, we didn't really talk about most of these before marriage, so there's that.

Also, we're gonna do this in two parts, because 35 things is a long list.

EDITOR'S NOTE: The second half the list gets real stretchy and kind of dumb, so you only get one part.

1) Toilet paper - over or under? Though I see the complete practicality of the "under" argument, Tamara and I always go "over." I think I tried pointing out the merits of the other way, but she would have none of it, and I don't care enough to argue. Besides, we have no cat to take advantage of our "over" ways.

2) Cats? Dogs? Both? Well, we all know how perfect a dog Bacon is. I was surprised when Tamara wanted to get a dog so suddenly last spring, but we're both glad we did. We'd talked about (mostly after marriage) pets and agreed we'd be MUCH more inclined to get a dog than a cat. Turns out it was a good idea.

Can you honestly say you'd choose a cat over that face? Didn't think so.

3) Breakfast for Dinner? I say any time is the right time. Tamara is usually on board if it's at Mom or Dad's house, but likely won't make it for our own dinner at home.

4) Cold pizza, yes or no? Tamara is all in, I'm all out. Gotta have it warmed up, preferably in the oven.

5) Open presents (birthday/Christmas) as they arrive or wait for the holiday? Wait. I think we both agree on that. Wait until you're with the person who gave it to you, unless that won't happen until after the holiday. I think we're in sync on this.

6) Silverware in the dishwasher - handle up or eating side up? Tamara covertly converted me to the "handle up" camp, probably because that way you don't touch the eating part. Growing up we always did the "eating part up," I figured to make sure the eating part got more clean.

The Crimean War was started over the "handle-up/handle-down" debate.

7) Let dishes soak or clean it all up before bed? Some dishes gotta soak, but most times we try to to the sink dishes before we go to bed. Sometimes we I just forget.

8) Toothpaste cap: on or off? Wait, people actually leave it off?!? Have fun with your crust-paste, weirdos.

9) Toothpaste part II: roll from the bottom or squeeze really hard? Not sure what the second option means, but I never remember to consciously roll from the bottom, so Tamara usually does it for me on the sly.

10) Towels: one time then in the basket, or use the same one until laundry day? Use the same one a few days, then replace. Otherwise, not-so-nice smells.

11) Washcloths, same question? Tamara's the only one who uses them, other than for cleaning, and it's roughly the same principle, though with more frequent exchanges.

12) Right thread count for sheets? I'm pretty sure it's not in most guys' mental capacities to properly examine this question. It's not in mine, anyway. I got used to sleeping on hard motel floors on long family trips, so any thread count is a bonus.

800-thread count for you, 800-pebble count for me.

13) Right brand of toilet paper? Whatever's soft and thick and can be bought for a good deal. Again, I've had to use Russian cheap TP, so even off-brands are okay (for me, at least)

14) Mayo or Miracle Whip? I don't mind either, but Miracle Whip is verboten in our house thanks to Tamara.

15) Pepsi or Coke? Either one. Except in diet form. Then it's Coke all the way.

16) Road trip or flying? Yes. Flying if we can get a good enough deal, or if it's too far to drive. But we enjoy a good, long drive as well.

17) Holiday candy in a display bowl - available to eat or for display only? We never have any in a dish long enough for this to become a real debate. But seriously, what is the point of only displaying candy? That's just asinine.

Why, when I search for "holiday candy," are these kinds of crap the
main result? What is wrong with people?

18) Your definition of camping? For Tamara, cabin with A/C and electricity at a minimum. Me, tents and hard ground all the way. The smokier your hair/clothes at the end, the better.

Alright, that's part one. Part two will be forthcoming, and hopefully as interesting.

Stay tuned.