Revolutions...I Mean Resolutions. Or Maybe I Do Mean Revolutions

UPDATE: Yes, this post is being published nearly a month after it was written. Sue me. You'll lose.

Yes, it's late January. Yes, resolutions are supposed to be decided long before New Year's Day. Yes, I'm behind the proverbial 8-ball (8 ball? Eight ball? Eight-ball? I'm waiting for Elise to sternly correct me).

Well, forgive me for wanting to see beyond the usual "I want to lose weight"/"I want to be nicer"/"I want to not be terrible at _________"/I want to stay in touch with __________ better" mentality.

Honestly, I didn't really plan on making any resolutions this year. Sure, I want to be healthier. Sure, I want to strengthen my spiritual foundation. Sure, I want to blah blah blah, so on and so forth.

Then I got some ideas, things that never really occurred to me (it just struck me how weird "occurred" looks spelling wise, but there's no red squiggly line so I'm good to go). Thusly, (it's a word, Jason, as evidenced by the aforementioned lack of a red squiggly line), here are my 2011 resolutions.

1) Read More

I don't consider myself to be unwell-read, (I'm not going to lie, the lack of red squiggly lines is intriguing), but I do consider myself to be the owner of a good number of books which I have note read. Most are churchish (there's that red squiggly) in nature, largely collected out of a "I think that would be a really good source of spiritual awesomeness" mentality, then forgotten. I've cracked several open and even made it past the first chapter, but then they sit, abandoned, on an end table until Tamara tells me to straighten the room up.

As such, I plan to read the books in my possession that I haven't read or finished. It will be slow going for some, quicker for others, but that's my goal. One of them, anyway.

2) Get Over Stage Fright

No, I don't plan on auditioning for any shows, choirs, plays, dramas or other such drivel (that I enjoy watching from time to time). No, I don't plan on singing any arias in church. What I do plan to do is become more confident busting out my voices/accents in public.

Most who know me know that for some reason, the Power that...be's? Is? Probably "is." The Power that Is gifted me with the talent of imitating accents, character voices and what have you. Most of the time they come out when they come out, sometimes unconsciously and other times carefully timed.

Where I struggle, however, is performing these voices on command. "Do Groundskeeper Willie!" (Sorry, red squiggly, the internet says "Groundskeeper" is the proper way to write out Willie's title) "Say it like an old British war veteran!" "Let's hear your Russian voice again!" These are nigh-foolproof ways of guaranteeing you won't hear the requested voice.

Further, I have oft desired to talk to customers at my restaurant job in a foreign accent- not one of the exaggerated ones, but something realistic enough to get them thinking "I think our server is from Europe/New Zealand/Australia." Several times I've even spent the duration of my walk up to the table revving myself up to "do a ___________ accent." But as soon as I open my mouth, my boring and glottal voice takes over.

To this end, I want to figure out what steps I can take to overcome this skittishness and thus broaden my comedic appeal.

3) Get back in touch with Russia/the Russian language

I can still speak and write Russian to a fair degree, but I can't read it nearly as well as I used to, and I want to get back to as close to "mission-level" as I can.

There you have it. My resolutions. I wish myself luck.